I work in a gym. After work I go into the women's changing room and lick the benches with relish.
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I've skipped the bill in various whorehouses before, and I always get away with it
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I overhear my neighbor talking on the phone
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I listen to heavy metal music to go down well with my best friend
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As a bouncer of almost 30 yrs, let me give you guys some advice. If you take a woman to a bar and she hugs the bouncer...just walk away...leave her there.
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I told my best buddy that I'm tired and I'm going to sleep so I could play for 3 hours in peace.
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I smell my feet every night before I go to sleep to have sweet dreams.
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Because my girlfriend always jokes about my bald head, I once cut off a long lock of her hair while she was sleeping.
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Someone to play finish the lyrics with me?
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I always throw my moldy bread in the mailbox of my neighbors.
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Not gonna lie, been living in London for nearly a year now and finding it hard to find anyone to even go on a second date let alone do anything fun with. Usually get ghosted after the first date. I don't even think anything goes wrong on the date they just ghost me afterwards and it's getting really depressing
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I love bananas, but they're not as firm without the peel
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Sometimes, I tell people random facts that are false just so that they think learned something new and spread the false knowledge to others, for my enjoyment:)
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I once watched a man get killed and get decapitated and never said anything about it to anyone. It's been about 8 years
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