I like sticking chopsticks up my nose and playing walrus.
I danced in my apartment last night. Hadn't drawn the curtains, the neighbor saw everything
When my girlfriend cooks, everything tastes like shit, so I almost always feed it to the dog
People are funny, I don't have a picture and ppl want to call me sexxy lmfao. Wtf... 😭 I'm not even blonde! 😂
My friends think my pet is more important than them. And they're damn right
I have a crush on my girlfriend's dad and I think he's into me too. When the time comes, I'll tell him and we'll both get the hell out of here
I've been with my girlfriend for three years and she still doesn't know my real name.
My secret is that i don’t even know where am i
I saved my boss's number in my cell phone under asshole.
When I was with my mother, I filled the hair dryer with powder and watched as she suddenly had a thick cloud around her
Female in riverside looking for older men
I overslept, then I rushed to the office and only then realized that it was Sunday
My mother has many shoes. When she's not around, I put them on, especially high heels, and take selfies with them.
I lay down on a beach, I thought it was nudist. Got some weird looks, turns out I did not know: The nudist beach was next to this one.
I drove in the wrong way up a one-way street
Yesterday I canceled on my boyfriend because I wanted to paint my fingernails
I've "borrowed" a neighbor's car before without his knowledge while he was on vacation.
One time i took a bath with my dad, i was too lazy to come out for the toilet so I peed in the bathtub...
Friendly, generous, humble, loyal, intelligent, industrious... Looking for the same in a man for serious and long-term relationship
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