I work in a gym. After work I go into the women's changing room and lick the benches with relish.
I've skipped the bill in various whorehouses before, and I always get away with it
I overhear my neighbor talking on the phone
I just want to find some love here, does true love still exists? But I don't mind some fun too ;)
I listen to heavy metal music to go down well with my best friend
As a bouncer of almost 30 yrs, let me give you guys some advice. If you take a woman to a bar and she hugs the bouncer...just walk away...leave her there.
I told my best buddy that I'm tired and I'm going to sleep so I could play for 3 hours in peace.
I smell my feet every night before I go to sleep to have sweet dreams.
Because my girlfriend always jokes about my bald head, I once cut off a long lock of her hair while she was sleeping.
I always throw my moldy bread in the mailbox of my neighbors.
Sometimes, I tell people random facts that are false just so that they think learned something new and spread the false knowledge to others, for my enjoyment:)
Not gonna lie, been living in London for nearly a year now and finding it hard to find anyone to even go on a second date let alone do anything fun with. Usually get ghosted after the first date. I don't even think anything goes wrong on the date they just ghost me afterwards and it's getting really depressing
Cause I'm little flower who want Water for life... If you understand text me
I once watched a man get killed and get decapitated and never said anything about it to anyone. It's been about 8 years




