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when a man makes Money, he feel like he wants more women but when a woman makes money she feels like she doesn't need a man.
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people will notice the chnage in your attitude towards them, but won't notice their behavior that made you change.
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I've been so drunk I woke up in a total stranger's apartment once and I can't remember how I got there
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Listening to smut on an aroplane just hits different. Like it’s talking about all the hot shit they are doing and your just trying to keep a straight face
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I secretly put a real spider in my first girlfriend's bed to make her go.
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I used to put some chocolate in my sister's bed so that she always thought she had shat the bed in the morning.
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Should I tell the guy that I like that I like him
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I wanted to sit down on a chair, then it collapsed.
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I saved my boss's number in my cell phone under asshole.
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