I regularly licked the edge of the toilet, which my ex spattered with urine while peeing standing up

Since my ex-boyfriend is only interested in football, I canceled his Sport-Channel subscription without telling him

My boss is an asshole, when he asks me to get his morning coffee, I pull my pubes and put it in his coffee before i put on the cover.

Never tell me where you put the condoms, because I go there and condoms will mysterious break. I have succesfully created a few marriages

My roommate is so loud plaing with her sex toy every night. One day we went into her room and dipped her toy in chilli water, She got even louder that night but quieted down ever since

No one knows but I use vegetables like eggplant and zucchini, to masturbate

I was wanking in my bed when I was 15. I finished and poked my head from under the covers. And noticed a cup of tea and cake next to the bed. A little note was there as well. It said, hope you like this more than what you were doing!

I would like a woman to come visit me don’t say a word and explore each other’s body and have fun then before we part we make a small mark on each other to remind us of that day

I enjoy basket leaving sleigh riding kicking rocks and five your plans it’s 11:11 what you know about that

I pay ALL the bills and still have to ask to get my dick sucked

I Must Dominate, i decide, when i do you are Submissive, i take care of you , you belong to me , i am you safety net forever

Send me your request then we’ll do the things that you want

I want to have sex on the beach in the Maldives

I’m looking for a female between 24-30 just for fun nothing serious