My boss is an asshole, when he asks me to get his morning coffee, I pull my pubes and put it in his coffee before i put on the cover.

Since my ex-boyfriend is only interested in football, I canceled his Sport-Channel subscription without telling him

I regularly licked the edge of the toilet, which my ex spattered with urine while peeing standing up

No one knows but I use vegetables like eggplant and zucchini, to masturbate

Never tell me where you put the condoms, because I go there and condoms will mysterious break. I have succesfully created a few marriages

My roommate is so loud plaing with her sex toy every night. One day we went into her room and dipped her toy in chilli water, She got even louder that night but quieted down ever since

Hello dear men. I don't even want to answer the question of what I'm wearing right now.🙈 The most beautiful thing a man has ever said about me?: I'm just a dreamer and you're just a dream. You are like a hurricane. (From a great song by Neil Young) 🍬My dreams? Go on great bike rides. for weeks. Preferably through Asia, Southeast Asia or or or. 🤗Unfortunately just a fantasy since I'm married. Maybe you have other ideas that we both like. I'm curious, cuddly and not as boring as in the photo 😍. We can start small. drink coffee or something. Or do you have completely different ideas? 😊 Very, very best regards

I confess to moving too fast for most.. wasting time for unimportant little facts about each other is pointless. It's casual no strings for reason.

hey, i'm trying to help my luck a bit, i'm looking for a dear woman who shares my passion and is willing to go through thick and thin with me. If you are also romantic and sensitive and enjoy life to the fullest, then you are exactly the right person for me. 🌟🍷🎉 I can't wait to discover the world with you and enjoy every second with you. Let's experience an unforgettable time together and let our love go up in flames.